Ep 80: The Dangerous ADHD Mindset That's Sabotaging Your Success

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In this transformative episode of our ADHD mindset series, I tackle the powerful impact of how we think about our ADHD. You'll discover why the phrase "I hate my ADHD" might be keeping you stuck and how to shift your thoughts without forcing toxic positivity.

📌 Key Topics:

• Why I never thought about ADHD being "unfair" and what that perspective taught me
• How my clients transformed their relationship with ADHD through simple thought shifts
• The difference between toxic positivity and helpful neutrality
• Why focusing on what ADHD "takes from you" creates a cycle of powerlessness
• The balance of acknowledging challenges while reclaiming your agency

🗣️ Featured Quote: "I don't have to love my ADHD, but thinking it's unfair wasn't going to help. It would just make me feel stuck."

💡 Strategy Breakdown:

• Notice your thoughts about ADHD through journaling or speaking them aloud
• Get curious about whether these thoughts are helping or hurting you
• Shift one thought at a time using "and" statements or neutral alternatives
• Replace "I hate the way my brain works" with "I have a brain"
• Move from "I'm terrible at time management" to "I'm learning how to manage my time"

🎯 Coming Up Next: Join us next week as we continue exploring ADHD-friendly strategies.

🔑 Key Takeaway: Somedays, ADHD feels really frustrating, but you're not stuck. Shifting your thoughts doesn't mean ignoring the hard parts. It means giving yourself the power to take action anyway.

🎓 Level Up: Practice one small thought shift today and share your experience in the comments.

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Transcript

I hate my ADHD.

Have you ever heard people say this? Maybe you've thought it too. I've had clients tell me that they feel trapped by ADHD. Like it's unfair that they can't do things the way that everyone else does. And I get it. Sometimes ADHD is frustrating, exhausting, and just plain hard. But how we think about our ADHD shapes our experience with it.

And that doesn't mean that we have to be all sunshine and rainbows about it either. So let's talk about that, because the way we think about ADHD can make our lives better or worse. A client asked me several weeks ago, Do you think it's unfair that you have ADHD? And I realized I never really actually thought about it that way.

For me, ADHD just was. It's how my brain works. Thinking it was unfair didn't help. It just made me feel stuck. That client soon realized that the same thing

that dwelling on how unfair ADHD was wasn't getting them anywhere.

And then

A client asked me a few weeks ago, Do you think it's unfair that you have ADHD?

And I realize I never really thought about it that way. For me, ADHD just was. It's how my brain works. Thinking it's unfair wasn't going to help it just me. It would just make me feel stuck. And the client soon realized the same thing, that that was unhelpful. To think that way. And it wasn't getting her anywhere. And then there was another client, a young man who truly hated having ADHD.

And because of that, he felt so powerless. And the more he focused on his ADHD and what that took from him, the less he could do. And he just felt really stuck and powerless.

You don't have to love ADHD, but you can think about it differently.

I've always had a neutral to positive view of ADHD. I love my hyperfocus. When I get deep into a project, I go all in and I don't regret it.

My brain is constantly generating ideas, which has led to some of my best work. But I also know ADHD comes with its challenges,

and I think it's unfair when people are expected to fit into a neurotypical mold without any support. That's why I do what I do, helping people build skills and systems that actually work for their brain instead of trying to force themselves into something that doesn't fit.

I also recognize that when someone is deep into frustration and stuck in the hard parts of ADHD trying to think positively, it can feel impossible. So instead of forcing yourself to think positively, what we aim for is neutral. Instead of I hate my ADHD. What if the thought was, This is how my brain works and I can still do the things that I want to do?

So let's talk about reframing your self-talk and how to shift your thoughts about ADHD. If you've ever thought I hate my ADHD, here's how I shift my thinking without forcing toxic positivity. Step one Notice your thoughts. Start by gaining an awareness of what you're saying to yourself. A great way to do this is journaling or using a tool like RTI to speak your thoughts out loud.

Sometimes we don't even realize how often we're telling ourselves negative stories about ADHD. So step two get curious. Ask yourself, Are these thoughts helping me or hurting me? Are they making me feel more in control or more powerless? Are they stop me from taking action? Are they actually true? And step three, Shift one thought at a time and say you're trying to love your ADHD.

What if we just wiggled the thoughts slightly? The and statement. So I love and life with ADHD is hard and there's a lot of great things about it. I hate the way my brain works and I love that I have a brain

Okay. How about going completely neutral if I love my ADHD feels too fake? Start with I have a brain. Like I said earlier,

If I'm great at time, management doesn't feel real. Start with. I'm learning how to manage my time

By repeating this process, your thoughts slowly shift to a better place.

And that better place helps you think better, think more clearly and take action and move forward.

So try this today. What's one small shift that you can make in how you think about ADHD?

Let me know in the comments. If you're on YouTube, what you're working on, reframing,

Okay. So today was a quick one. My ADHD brain came up with this one this morning. I was just getting ready for the day, and I thought about this topic, and I just thought it was so important to talk about, because oftentimes I'm hearing people come back, especially like in the comments where

I think people are.

You know, sometimes there's people that are in pain and they they hear me talk positively about things or they hear me talk about tools that can help us move forward. And they don't feel like they can move forward. And so they'll they'll kind of get upset about these things. And I get it. I get it. If you're in a rough spot,

it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it is there.

And definitely reframing your thoughts is something that you have complete power over once you're aware of what they are and once you are starting to see what else you believe. So if you're on YouTube like and subscribe and hit the bell for more ADHD friendly strategies. If you're listening on the podcast, I would love you to write and review on iTunes.

Somedays, ADHD feels really frustrating, but you're not stuck. Shifting your thoughts doesn't mean ignoring the hard parts. It means giving yourself the power to take action anyway.

And it starts with one small shift at a time.

So let's keep the conversation going. If you've got questions about reframing ADHD, thoughts, drop them in the comments. I respond to every single one. If you're on the podcast, I can't respond to the text questions there, but I can definitely bring them up on the next podcast too. So feel free to do that.

What we think becomes a reality. So decide what you want your reality to be. All right, guys, I will see you next week.