Ep 107: Stop Earning Rest - Why Rest Isn't Optional With ADHD

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🛑 If you're waiting until everything is done before you rest, you'll never rest.

And that's why so many ADHD adults run on empty.

This episode is about why self-care, balance, and rest are not luxuries—they're the foundation that lets everything else work.

IN THIS EPISODE:

✨ Why rest isn't a reward—it's maintenance (like changing your car's oil)

✨ The mindset shift that changed how I approach my days

✨ How I structure my priorities now: main intentions (ME first!) → nice to have → help others (yes, at the bottom now)

✨ Why taking gym breaks mid-workday improved my productivity (not harmed it!)

✨ What ADHD experts say about rest: 

• Rest looks different for everyone (Claire Edelson) 
• It's a biological necessity, not something you earn 
• How to structure breaks with time blindness (Pomodoro Technique) 
• Why sleep is medicine for ADHD brains 
• How movement = rejuvenation (Dr. Ratey's Spark) 
• The power of body doubling for rest

✨ The science behind rest: 

• Why "doing nothing" is brain maintenance 
• How 90-minute walks in nature reset your brain 
• Why reading is the most restful activity (The Rest Test) 
• The vacation study that proves rest isn't optional

✨ Real examples: From Scott Adams to Winston Churchill to Hemingway—how rest fueled their success

THE BIG TRUTH:

Rest is not the opposite of productivity. Rest is what makes productivity possible. ✅

You can't fuel a car without parking it at the pump. And we're the same. We have to slow down—or even stop—if we want to get refueled.

YOUR REFLECTION:

1. Where do you need to put yourself back on your own list?
2. What's ONE small way you can practice rest this week?

Because if you don't intentionally take time for yourself, you will fall to the wayside.

Connect with me: Leave a voice message with your questions, challenges, or wins at speakpipe.com/learntothrivewithADHD

Click here for full show notes

CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!

Transcript

If you're waiting until everything is done before you rest, you'll never rest. And that's why so many ADHD adults run on empty. This episode is about why self-care, balance, and rest are not luxuries. They're the foundation that lets everything else work.

This year has been the first time in many years that I intentionally added a lot of rest and leisure activities. Like many ADHD adults, I find it difficult to do nothing.

Maybe it's a sensitivity to boredom. Maybe it's a need to feel productive in order to feel valuable. Or maybe it's both even laying down at night to go to sleep can feel like a waste of time for me. Which is funny because I actually require a good amount of sleep. That's the tricky thing about ADHD. We need more rest than we think,

but often fight at the hardest.

I had to change the way I look at priorities. My list isn't just endless tasks anymore, it's structured. I have main intentions. Then it would be nice if then I would like to. And then at the very bottom is helping others. So I'm still helping others every day. But now I'm putting myself first.

Think about that for a moment. How would your day change if me was at the top of your list?

Think about that for a moment. How would your day change if you were at the top of your to do list?

One of the biggest changes I've made is stopping in the middle of my work day to go to the gym. For years, I thought leaving work was a waste of precious time, and now I see it differently. I'm putting my health above sitting at a desk.

And here's what's surprising. It hasn't harmed my productivity at all. It's improved it. Because when my body feels strong, my brain performs better. And when I return to work, I actually get more done in less time.

I also check in with my accountability coach daily. I tell her three things that I'll do each day, and I make sure one of them is something fun or rejuvenating.

Today I chose to take a long evening walk. Some days it's just a really intentional wind down at the end of the day. Other days, because I'm a little weird, it might be putting together a Lego set

On a monthly level, I set concentrations with the same balance one for business focus, one main project, and one fun thing.

That structure keeps me honest. It prevents me from slipping back into all work and no play.

And this is especially important right now. This is a very busy season for me.

When this episode comes out, I'll be six weeks into my fitness journey.

I'll be back running the gym office for our second business with my husband for about five weeks now.

And I have a big project of working on bringing group back to my coaching business.

My accountability coach really helps me to keep that balance, because it would be so easy just to work all the time.

And that's exactly what leads to burnout. Rest is not a reward.

Here's the mindset shift I wish I had learned years ago. Rest is not a reward. Most of us treat it like it's a prize that you get at the finish line. Once I finish everything that all rest. But with ADHD, the list never ends. There's always one more thing to do.

So if you make rest the prize for being done, you'll never get it. Rest isn't a reward. It's maintenance.

You don't wait for your car to break down before changing the oil. And you shouldn't wait for you to crash before giving your brain and body what they need.

I used to ignore every cue that I needed rest. Feeling tired didn't mean taking a nap. Or I'll pick this up tomorrow. It meant push harder. One night early in my coaching business, I was designing a logo and no matter what I created, nothing looked right. I was exhausted, but I kept going. And finally my husband said, why don't you just go to bed and work on it in the morning?

I actually listened, which I don't often do, and the next morning I woke up early and I sat down and finished the logo in 15 minutes and it was good. That was the first time it really clicked. Resting wasn't wasting time. It was what made me effective.

We need to remember you can't fuel a car without parking it at the pump.

And we're the same. We have to slow down or even stop if we want to get refueled. Rest is not the opposite of productivity.

It's what makes productivity possible.

And ADHD experts agree. First, rest looks different for everyone.

Therapist like Claire Edelson remind us that ADHD brains often struggle to shut off.

So we have to let go of rigid rules about rest. Rest might mean reading, moving, listening to music, or even doing something active. If it feels restorative, it counts. Second, rest isn't something you earn. Eggleston calls it a biological necessity. Without it, we don't just feel tired.

We can't think clearly, regulate emotions or stay motivated.

Third, we have to structure our breaks because of time blindness. ADHD brains forget to pause. Techniques like Pomodoro, 25 minutes of focus, and then a five minute break

Or even a timer on your phone helps make rest. Automatic.

Fourth. Sleep. It's its own form of medicine. Experts point out that ADHD brains often run on delayed sleep cycles,

So keeping consistent in bed and wake times, limiting screens before bed and using wind down routines make a huge difference in brain health.

Fifth movement is rejuvenation.

Doctor Rady, in his book spark, shows us how exercise literally resets the ADHD brain. It boosts dopamine, improves focus and calms restlessness. Sometimes a workout is the most powerful form of rest and sex. You don't have to do it alone.

Body doubling. Having someone present, even virtually, can help us pause, recharge, or switch tasks.

Sometimes another person is the gentle anchor. We need to remind us to rest.

And beyond the ADHD world, the broader science backs us up. Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, worked only four hours deeply in the morning. And then he went to the gym and rested

That rhythm of work and rest, not endless hours of work, fueled a worldwide career.

Winston Churchill turned to painting. He said it completely absorbed his mind and became a lifeline in the darkest season of his life.

That's what researchers call deep play. Hobbies that are restorative as they are satisfying. Sometimes rescue looks like nothing at all. In one study, people with memory problems learned words.

Those who did mental exercises remembered only 14%. Those who sat in a dark room doing nothing recalled almost half.

Doing nothing is not wasted time. It's brain maintenance.

Even short walks in nature can help. A Stanford study showed that 90 minute walks in greenspace lowered activity in the sadness center of the brain. Even a 42nd break looking at a photo of a green roof. Improved focus.

And when you rest, your creativity multiplies. 19th century mathematician William Rowan Hamilton discovered his breakthrough equation while walking along a canal.

He carved it into the bridge before he forgot it. Hemingway used to rest differently. He always stopped writing when he knew what came next. He trusted his subconscious to keep working while he rested.

And let's talk about the rest. Test. The largest survey of rest with 18,000 people. Found that the most RESTful activity wasn't TV. It was reading. Reading stimulates the brain. But also Suzette.

It's active rest. Even vacations aren't optional. The Framingham Heart Study showed that women who only vacationed once every six years

were twice as likely to have a heart attack compared to those who vacation twice a year.

Skipping rest costs more than it saves.

So here's the bottom line. Put yourself on your own to do list. Literally. Write me at the top.

Schedule breaks. Plan hobbies and add rejuvenation to your intentions every day. Because self-care isn't selfish. It's system maintenance. And when you rest, you show up better for everything else.

So let me leave you with the reflection.

Where do you need to put yourself back on your own list? And what's one small way that you can practice rest this week?

because if you don't intentionally take the time for yourself, you will fall to the wayside.

I want to hear from you guys. We have a new way you can talk to me on speak pipe. I can hear your lovely voice and I would love to feature it on future episode. It is speak pipe.com/learn to thrive with ADHD.

I look forward to hearing your message and I will see you next week.