Ep 118: ADHD Productivity When You’re Exhausted - A Better Way

Are you exhausted from trying to keep everything going - even when you have nothing left? Do you push through until you crash, or shut down completely when overwhelmed? What if there's a better way to navigate ADHD productivity when you're running on empty?

In this episode of Learn to Thrive with ADHD, Coach Mande shares her personal experience from the past month - a fall, a black eye, a terrifying dog emergency, and unexpected responsibilities that all stacked at once. She walks you through exactly how she stayed connected to what mattered without burning out completely.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The Pause → Review → Revise → Recommit framework for navigating overwhelming seasons with ADHD
• Why the all-or-nothing approach (push through everything OR shut down completely) doesn't work for ADHD brains
• The one question that changes everything when you're drained: "What can I do right now?"
• How Pause + Anchor creates a sustainable rhythm for low-capacity days
• Spoon Theory: understanding why you're not broken — you're just out of energy
• The ebb and flow of ADHD productivity: on fire vs. crawling (and why both seasons are normal)
• The staircase analogy: why sitting on a step is still progress, not failure
• How to hold space for what matters without forcing yourself to do everything
• Real-life example: how Mande moved through the day her dog had an emergency
• The simple check-in that keeps you connected to yourself: "What did I do today, and what felt good?"

Mande shares how she made the decision to shift her podcast and YouTube schedule from weekly to bi-weekly - not as a failure, but as a strategic choice that honored her actual capacity. She also reveals what she does with her coaching clients when they're maxed out: she pulls back with them, focuses on what's right in front of them, and holds their bigger goals until they have capacity again.

Key Takeaway: Small actions count. You don't need to do everything, and you don't need to be consistent in the way you think you "should" be. Pause, notice what you have capacity for, and take the next step that's actually available. Progress doesn't always look like constant movement. Sometimes it looks like slowing down. Sometimes it looks like resting. All of it counts.

Resources Mentioned:

• Weekly ADHD Newsletter: learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly
• Instagram: @learntothrivewithadhd

Ready to build ADHD strategies that work with your actual energy levels? Book a free coaching consultation with Coach Mande at learntothrivewithadhd.com/services

#ADHD #ADHDPodcast #ADHDProductivity #ADHDCoaching #SelfCompassion #MentalHealth #PersonalDevelopment #LearnToThrive #ADHDSupport #Neurodiversity #SpoonTheory #ADHDBurnout

Click here for full show notes

CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together! 

Transcript

Welcome to Learn to Thrive with ADHD. This is the podcast for adults with ADHD or ADHD like symptoms. I'm your host coach, Maddie John. I'm here to make your life with ADHD easier. Let's get started.

Have you ever had a stretch of time where everything seems to hit at once. And you feel your capacity to deal with anything? Just drop

That's what the past month has felt like for me. I fell. I ended up with several bruises. The most fun a black eye. I've never had one before, and it's not fun.

My dog had a serious medical emergency. I thought she was dying.

She couldn't walk because she was vomiting and sweating. Panting. She also seemed to not be there, like neurologically. I was an emotional mess. Even when she came back from the vet. Okay. There were unexpected meetings and responsibilities outside of my business that I had to show up for, which made me have to cancel client meetings.

Not the way I ever want to show up for my clients.

It all seemed to stack at the same time, and I found myself feeling emotionally drained, stressed, and honestly just exhausted. Maybe you know that feeling when it's not just one thing, it's everything.

And suddenly the way you normally function just isn't there. What I noticed, though, is that I didn't completely stop, but I did pause. There were a few sessions that I needed to cancel, but for the most part, I kept showing up for my one on one clients because those felt like the most important thing in that moment.

At the same time, there were other things that I just stopped completely the podcast, YouTube, things that normally matter to me. I just didn't have the capacity to keep going. And instead of trying to push through or keep everything going, I made space. I let go of what I could so I could take care of myself and the things in my life and business that mattered most.

And that pause ended up being really important because it gave me the space to step back, look at everything, and decide how I actually wanted to move forward.

that space where I pulled back, I wasn't just stopping. I was actually being really intentional. I let go of the podcast on YouTube because I knew I had already created a lot of helpful content, and there was plenty of content already there. I put out into the world that people could benefit from

Everything didn't have to keep moving in order for me to still be helping,

And that gave me the space to do something that I come back to often. Something I also use with my clients. I paused, and then I went through what I called the three R's review. Revise. Recommit. First, I reviewed what was actually happening, not what I thought I should be doing, not what I normally do, but what was real in that moment my energy, my capacity, what was on my plate.

Also what got me in the space I was in. It's only natural. I would feel the way I was with everything that was happening. Knowing that I could give myself grace. Then I revised, I adjusted expectations. I decided what actually made sense for this season, not for some ideal version of life where everything was running smoothly. But what did I want?

Going forward for a bit, that was to take a good hard look at what I wanted, and then I recommitted, but differently. Not to everything, just to what mattered most right now. In the end, I decided to alter my podcasting YouTube release schedule to every two weeks instead of every week. And I think this is really important because for ADHD, when things get hard or overwhelming, we tend to either push through everything or we just shut down completely.

but there's this middle space where you can pause. Get honest about where you are, and then choose how to move forward in a way that actually works for you.

Something I noticed during this time is that this isn't just something I do for myself. I do this for my clients too. When they come to me stressed, overwhelmed, or just completely maxed out, I don't push them to do more.

I actually do the opposite. I pull back with them. We slow things down and we focus on what's right in front of them. Not everything they could be doing. Not everything they feel they're behind on, but just what actually matters right now. We keep a pulse on their priorities, but in a much smaller, more manageable way. And just as importantly, I don't add more.

Like I said before,

I'm not layering on more goals, more strategies or more expectations in that moment and said I'm helping them stay connected to what they can do, even if it's small.

and the rest?

The bigger goals, the long term plans I hold those for them. Not forever, but just until they have the capacity to come back to them, which almost always is as soon as the next session or the one after

When they have had some rest or some space from the stress that they're experiencing.

I notice that when we're overwhelmed, we can get really frustrated. And it's not that we don't care about the things that we want to do. It's just that our capacity is temporarily lower. And really, what I'm doing with my clients is what I want you to be able to do for yourself. You may not always have someone there to help you slow things down and refocus.

So the question becomes, how do you do this in real time on your own?

The way I do this for myself and for my clients, and what I want you to be able to do for yourself is by coming back to a really simple question, what can I do right now? Not what should I do? Not what do I need to get done today?

Not how do I catch up? Just what can I do right now with the capacity I have in this moment? And what I've noticed is this question meets me where I am on a good day, when I have energy, I might have a lot I can do, but on a hard day when I'm overwhelmed or emotionally drained, the answer might be something really small.

And that's okay. I'll do just that one thing and then I'll pause. Sometimes I'll rest. Sometimes I'll do something I enjoy. And then I come back to the question again, what can I do right now? And I'll do the next thing.

What ends up happening is that I move through the day with these small steps without overwhelming myself, but also without shutting down completely. And a lot of times I actually get more done than I thought I had capacity for.

Not because I push myself harder, but because I stayed connected to what was actually possible in each moment.

If I step back and look what I'm actually doing when I move through a day like this, it really comes down to these things. I pause, then I anchor,

The pause is the moment where I stop and check in with myself.

Sometimes that means I rest. Sometimes it means I do something I enjoy. Like I said before, and sometimes it's just giving myself a second to breathe before jumping into the next thing.

It's a way of not just reacting to everything around me, but actually noticing where I am and what I have capacity for.

And then the anchor is the next small step. It's the answer to the question, what can I do right now?

Not the whole plan. Not ten steps ahead. Just one thing I can realistically do in this moment.

And what's important is that these two things work together. The pause creates space, and the anchor gives you direction. Without the pause, you're just pushing through. And without the anchor, you end up staying stuck. But when you bring them together, you get in this rhythm of moving forward in a way that actually matches your capacity. And it doesn't have to be perfect or structured.

It can be as simple as pause, do the thing, pause again, do the next thing. That's enough.

There's something else that really makes sense in this. And it's this concept called spoon theory.

It was originally created to explain what it's like to live with limited energy. And the idea is simple. You only have a certain number of spoons each day. And each task you do costs you one. Getting out of bed might cost a spoon. Making a decision might cost a spoon, having a conversation, transitioning between tasks, or managing emotions.

Those all take energy too. And for a lot of people with ADHD, those things can cost more than we expect. So we start the day with a certain amount of energy. And as we move through the day, we're spending it,

whether we're aware of it or not.

And if we're not paying attention, we can run out. And that's usually the moment where things start to feel really hard. We get overwhelmed. We shut down. We start to think something's wrong with us, but nothing's wrong. You're just out of energy. And this is where the pause and anchor approach can be really important. Because when you pause, you're checking in on what you actually have left, what's left in the tank.

And when you anchor, you're choosing to use it in a way that makes sense for where you are not based on what you think you should be able to do, but based on what you actually can do.

And that shift alone can take so much pressure off.

Something I see over and over again with both myself and my clients is this pattern of ebb and flow. There are seasons where we feel like we're on fire. We have energy. And this could even be day to day where we're focused, we're getting things done, and everything feels like it's clicking. We're showing up consistently, following through, and it feels good and then something shifts.

Life happens. Stress builds. Something unexpected comes up. Or we just hit a limit and suddenly the capacity isn't there anymore. In these moments, it can feel like everything has fallen apart. Like we've lost momentum or we're back to square one. But that's not actually what's happening. What's happening is your capacity has changed.

Instead of being in a season where you can run, you're in a season where you're walking or even just taking really small steps. And sometimes it can feel like you're barely moving at all. But that doesn't mean you're not progressing. This ebb and flow is normal.

It's not a sign that something is wrong with you or you're inconsistent or not disciplined enough. It's you being human, especially when you have a needy brain that doesn't operate on the same level of output all the time. And when you start to expect that, there will be times when you're on fire and times when you're just getting through.

It changes how you respond to those lower capacity moments. Instead of panicking or trying to force yourself back to a level of output that isn't available. You can just adjust. You can slow down. You can come back to what is actually possible and keep moving just in a different way.

One way I like to think about this is that you're walking up a set of stairs.

when things are going well and you have energy. It might feel like you're taking the steps quickly. You're moving up. You're making progress. Feels smooth and steady. You might even take two steps at a time. Other times, you're moving more slowly. You're still going up. But each step takes more effort and you're taking your time.

And then there are moments where you just sit down on the step.

You pause. You rest. You catch your breath. But here's the important part. You're still on the staircase. You haven't gone backwards. You haven't failed and you haven't lost your progress. You're still in the process of moving forward. Even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment.

And eventually, when you have the capacity again, when you catch your breath, you stand up and you take the next step. Progress doesn't always look like constant movement. Sometimes it looks like slowing down. Sometimes it looks like resting. But it all counts. And when you start to see it that way, it becomes a lot easier to stay with yourself through those lower capacity moments.

Instead of feeling like you've fallen off track,

a really clear example of this for me was the day brownie, my dog, had that medical emergency. I was emotionally drained. It had already been a lot that just pushed me into a place where I didn't have much capacity at all.

on a day like that, it would have been really easy to think, I can't do anything today, or I just feel like this whole day was a loss. But instead, I stayed with that question. What can I do right now? I trusted I gave myself some space just to be where I was emotionally.

Then at some point, I started to move again slowly. What could I do? I did a small task. I rested, I checked on the dog, I rested. I did a small chore. I rested.

I sent some texts and emails. I rested. I don't remember if I made dinner happen that day or ordered something. It doesn't really matter.

I was taking care of what was in front of me, and that was how the day happened.

It wasn't productive in the way we usually think about productivity.

I didn't get a long list of things done, but I also didn't completely shut down. I stayed in it one small step at a time. And that's what this can look like in real life. It's not perfect. It's not structured. It's not impressive from the outside, but it's sustainable. And those kind of days matter just as much as the ones where you're doing a lot.

At the end of the day, this doesn't have to be complicated. You don't need a full system or a long list of things to track. A simple check in can be enough. You can ask yourself, what did I do today? And what felt good?

Not what didn't get done or where you fell short.

Just what did you do and what supported you? Because when you start paying attention to that, you begin to see that even on the hard days, you're still showing up in small ways. And those small ways matter.

If there's one thing I want you to take from this, it's that small actions count. You don't have to do everything, and you don't have to do it all at once. There will be times when you have a lot of energy and things feel easy, and there will be times when even one small step feels like a lot.

Both are important parts of progress. What matters is that you stay connected to yourself in those moments that you pause. Notice what you have capacity for and take the next step that is actually available to you. You don't need to be perfect. You don't need to be consistent in the way that you think you should be.

You just need to stay present and keep moving in a way that works for you.

If this resonated with you and you'd like a little support and encouragement each week, I'd love to stay connected with you. You can join me at WW dot. Learn to thrive with adhd.com/weekly where I share thoughts, tools, and reminders like this to help keep you moving forward in a way that works for you.

Thank you all for being here and I'll see you soon.

Thank you for your time today, and especially your attention. If you're anything like me, you love to learn. Sometimes, though, we can know what to do but struggle to put it into action without the right support. That's what Private ADHD coaching is for. To give you the unique support and accountability you need to make the change you know is possible.

Book a free consultation with me today at WW W learn to thrive with ADHD Tor.com Backslash Services. I look forward to meeting you.